tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55373737429650669032024-03-05T08:44:43.107-05:00Green Bananas Cancer BlogWhat do you do when you find out you have pancreatic cancer? Tell everyone about it, of course. Why "green bananas?" Because we keep buying them as a sign of faith in the future. What do we need from you? Good thoughts and the occasional bad joke.Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.comBlogger344125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-13553621457132060012010-08-19T11:12:00.003-04:002010-08-19T11:20:06.277-04:00Sad newsI'm sorry to be the bearer of such sad news, but with a heavy heart I report that Lucie passed away peacefully in her sleep last night. Her family was around, talking, eating, laughing and looking at pictures, and I think it was a warm and comforting setting in which to let go. Thanks to friends, family and "virtual" friends who have all shared in and been part of her story.<br />I am including her obituary, although it's impossible to sum up such an amazingly beautiful life in a few paragraphs.<br /><br />The Keene Sentinel<br />August 19, 2010<br />Lucie C. Germer<br /><br />Lucie Clare Germer, 67, of 112 Pleasant Street, Marlborough, died at her home from pancreatic cancer, August 18, surrounded by her beloved family.<br />She was born in Arlington, Mass., May 21, 1943, daughter of Laurence L. and Lucia F. Barber. She spent her youth in Brazil, Turkey and Libya, following the moves of her father, a public administration consultant for the United Nations. She attended high school in Libya, and went on to obtain her BA at the American University of Beirut, Lebanon. She returned to the U.S. to obtain her MA at UCLA.<br />While working as an English Language instructor for U.S.A.I.D. in Somalia, in 1967, she met her husband, Jerry, who was training Peace Corps volunteers there. They were married in Mogadishu in September, 1967.<br />She returned to the U.S.A in November of that year to Salt Lake City, Utah, where she taught English to non-native speakers, as well as courses at the University of Utah.<br />After her husband, Jerry, obtained his architecture degree, the couple moved to Monrovia, Liberia, where he worked for an international architecture firm and she taught English at the University of Liberia. Their first child, Max, was born in Liberia.<br />The couple later returned to Salt Lake City, where their second child, Lucinda was born and Lucie began studies leading to a Ph.D in Anthropology from the University of Utah. The Germer family spent 1983 in Costa Rica, where Jerry pursued research in climate-responsive design and Lucie completed the draft of her doctoral dissertation.<br />The family returned to the U.S.A., where they made their home in Marlborough, NH, where Lucie taught English as a Second Language in schools in the Keene School District until her retirement in 2004. She took up trombone during this period and enjoyed playing it in the Westmoreland Town Band for 18 years. As a result of her enthusiasm playing with the band, she co-wrote a book with Jerry to encourage other adults to get involved in music making. She also wrote two published books dealing with English as a Second Language.<br />Lucie is survived by her husband, Jerry, a son, Max and his wife, Anya, and their son, Miles, of Florence, MA, a daughter, Lucinda and her husband Rob, of Seattle, WA, and a brother, Luther Barber and his wife, Miriam, of Needham, MA. . <br />Lucie wanted to be remembered by the words of Edith Piaf, Non, je ne regretted rien (no, I regret nothing). A memorial service in the manner of a Quaker meeting will be held at 3:00pm on Wednesday, August 25 at the Marlborough Community Center, Main St., Marlborough, NH. A second service will be held for the family’s many relatives and friends in Utah at a later date.<br />The family requests that, in lieu of flowers, contributions be made to the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network, www.pancan.org.Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-19118774407223794062010-08-16T15:18:00.004-04:002010-08-16T15:54:58.137-04:00updateLucinda guest blogging here, I thought I'd give you all an update. Since the last post Lucie has declined pretty significantly. Fortunately she is in no pain, and at the moment resting comfortably. Over the last 48 hours she has gotten increasingly disoriented, confused and agitated. Last night was a tough night for sleeping because she was moving around and sitting up quite often, and talking at regular intervals.<br />The hospice nurse put her on a new drug regimen that seems to have helped with the restlessness, and she got a massage from a hospice volunteer which I think she enjoyed. There was even an impromptu singing session with Mary, myself and the hospice nurse, and Lucie sang along.<br />She still has moments of clarity, and smiles when you walk into the room. Sometimes she'll be sleeping and have a huge, beautiful smile on her face, so I think she's having good dreams.<br />As always, thanks to everyone for your love, care and support. I'll keep you posted.Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-87268840953014103182010-08-13T17:58:00.002-04:002010-08-13T18:03:08.190-04:00How it feels from this endWell, the latest on the bed project is that Jerry, being Jerry, has McGuivered a makeshift bed out of an old mattress, coffee table and some plywood so he can sleep next to me in the hospital bed. We don't know if this will work yet, but we're hoping it's a good solution.<br /><br />I've been feeling low. Not only does my voice go in and out of focus, but I'm having trouble keeping any kind of focus. When I try to stand up, I'm like a marionette with no strings. Yet, at the same time, the couple bites of quesadilla I had for lunch were delicious, so that's how it feels from this end.<br /><br />Cinda has been helping me write this. I appreciate her doing so.<br /><br />More later.Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-21759562040907121662010-08-12T17:10:00.000-04:002010-08-12T17:11:22.646-04:00How to VisitThere are a few rules.<br />1. Call ahead to set up a time.<br />2. Don't stay long.<br />3. Try not to bring up old business if it's something that only you remember. You may want to bring closure or solve an old problem, but this is not the time.<br />4.What should you bring? Find out if the person you're visiting likes flowers, or chocolates, or food. Maybe they don't want the casserole.<br />5. Decide who the visit is for. If it's for you, and this is fine, think about what you're going to say. If the visit is truly for the person you're visiting, maybe the simplest thing to say is just I love you, I'll miss you.<br />6. "What can I do" is the big question everyone wants to ask. And let's face it, in the modern world there isn't much. The important thing is not what you can do but that you can be there. This is harder than it seems.<br />Last, there is no last. Whatever you say, however long you stay, it's never enough, so keep it short.Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-6838632491894770082010-08-08T19:20:00.002-04:002010-08-09T09:43:55.030-04:00hospice and the bedthe bed is the first thing that hospice brings you. it isn’t necessarily the most important thing, or even what you need first. I’ve decided it’s a symbol. you have crossed this dividing line, and now you need a bed in the dining room.<br /><br />the man who brings it in and sets it up is efficient and cheerful. he keeps saying,”now this is a feature that every bed should have, not just hospice ones.”<br />what everyone who comes through the dining room points out, though, is that the bed's too small. "are you both sleeping in that?"<br /><br />no,we're comfy and cozy, upstairs in our queen-sized bed where we belong, him on the left,me on the right, and we want to keep it that way as long as possible,even if it isn't perfect.<br /><br />we may not have crossed that dividing line, but we are clearly there.Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-11354440400085790822010-08-05T17:23:00.003-04:002010-08-05T17:45:20.242-04:00everything takes a long timeit's the loss of function in my right hand that's been giving me trouble today. somehow or other, connected with the fall on tuesday night and the dislocated shoulder i stopped being able to grasp anything with my right hand -- i can't push buttons, then ewspaper slides through my hands, and we won't even talk about how long it takes to go to the bathroom. thank heavens for pull-up pants.<br /><br />i'm typing this left-handed, thus no caps. because of my english-teaching background, skipping caps and parens makes me feel somewhat wicked.<br /><br />how else do i feel question mark. everything not only takes longer but is very tiring. i don't feel.... right.<br /><br />i cling to my family and friends, even those of you i don't know.Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-8652175940533798282010-08-04T17:00:00.002-04:002010-08-04T17:13:54.659-04:00The latest excitementAfter getting back from the hospital on Tuesday night, everything gets blurry. About 2 o'clock in the morning I got up to go to the bathroom and stumbled and fell, hitting my shoulder. We thought it was broken. After calling Hospice and the ambulance we (Jerry, Cinda & Rob) went to the ER where eventually they discovered that my shoulder was dislocated. No other injuries. They put it back together (like Tinker Toys) and I'm in no pain now.<br /><br />It's been a surreal day, with everybody taking naps whenever they could and a lot of loving conversation. Hospice has been around with bed, cane and commode (hell of an album title) and I continue to feel pretty well and surrounded by your love.Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-22258924162269718522010-08-02T16:41:00.003-04:002010-08-02T16:53:21.395-04:00UpdateHi there, this is Lucinda (Lucie's daughter) guest blogging for Lucie while she is recovering in the hospital. The good news is that she is resting (somewhat) comfortably in recovery, and should be released within a day or two. The bad news is they could only perform part 1 of what was supposed to be a 2 part procedure. Part 1 involved installing a drainage tube in her stomach to ease the blockage, while Part 2 would have established a feeding tube into the small intestines. Unfortunately they couldn't find a location in the small intestines that did not have cancer cells, so Plan B is to use her existing port that had been used for the chemo as a delivery for nutrition. We don't know anything more at this point but we'll make sure the blog is updated as we find out more information. As always, thanks to all for the continued support and concern.Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-80721394852604698932010-07-30T09:23:00.004-04:002010-07-30T09:42:39.029-04:00Wonderful food, wonderful fantasySometimes I really miss my mother. When we were at a restaurant, she used to take joy in reading the menu aloud. "Stuffed shrimp," she'd say, drawing the words out sensuously. "Gazpacho.... veal parmigiana...." She could make a menu from Appleby's sound like the richest of food porn.<br />Just think what she could have done with your posts. We'd have all been rolling over in the latest stages of a heart attack.<br /><br />I've spent the past couple of days wishing it were possible to go through the lists item by item, savoring every bite of every dish. Are you familiar with Jon Kabat-Zinn? He's a professor emeritus at Harvard who specializes in bringing Western medicine and Eastern zen and yoga together. I saw him do his "raisin exercise" in which participants take several minutes to eat a raisin, experiencing the texture, smell, taste, memory of the one tiny dried fruit. It's amazing how vivid the experience is. I'm imagining going through the list of posts in that way, truly losing myself in all those glorious tastes and textures. Wonderful!<br /><br />Reality hasn't been quite as great, though I've had sushi, a BLT, and chocolate brownies, all of which tasted much better the first time. I'm looking forward to a lobster roll Saturday and bagels, lox and cream cheese Sunday. Well, a bite of each.<br /><br />And they will taste even better because of the company. Cinda and Rob (daughter and son-in-law) fly in tomorrow, and they plus Max, Anya and Miles (son, daughter-in-law and grandson), and Luther and Miriam (brother and sister-in-law) will all be here on Sunday. I checked out the Roger Ebert blog on not eating or speaking in which he said he missed the conversations most. I am so lucky to have this weekend of good food and good conversation coming up.Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-54081575104362804942010-07-26T10:08:00.002-04:002010-07-26T10:21:28.528-04:00The Game -- The Last SupperYou know the premise -- you have one day left to live and you can eat anything you want for your last meal. There's even a book where famous chefs tell their dream final meal, usually something simple that Mama used to make.<br /><br />I want to change the premise slightly. Just suppose that you know that next Monday you'll have an operation that will relieve your symptoms and probably extend your life. The downside is that after it you won't be able to eat anything that isn't liquid or pureed.<br /><br />What would you eat during these few days? To make it easy for you, in the game you'll be able to digest anything up until the operation. After it, your nourishment will be taken care of through a tube into your intestine.<br /><br />I've been making a list. Some things, like hot buttered popcorn, aren't possible right now. Others, like crispy fried chicken, I haven't eaten or wanted to eat for years anyhow, but there are still a lot of foods I'll either cram into the rest of this week or dream about:<br /><ul><li>fried oysters</li><li>a BLT with tomato fresh from the garden</li><li>anything with beans, maybe especially Gallo Pinto (a Costa Rican dish of rice and beans)</li><li>any cake or pie made by my son-in-law Rob</li><li>a portobello burger with barbecue sauce and blue cheese</li><li>a grilled vegetable salad, veggies from our garden</li><li>bruschetta<br /></li><li>an old-fashioned toasted cheese sandwich</li><li>samosas, because we had them at our wedding</li><li>beerbutt chicken with lots of garlic</li><li>souvlakia with my special sauce</li></ul>Well, you get the idea. What I'd like from you is more suggestions, because I'm sure I've forgotten some of my favorites, and I'd love to hear yours. I'm throwing it out to you -- what would you like best?Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-30887829980618330792010-07-25T08:40:00.002-04:002010-07-25T08:52:22.627-04:00More nuts and bolts and logisticsWe met with the second surgeon on Thursday, and nothing is as simple as you expect it to be. He agrees that just the draining tube from the inside of the stomach isn't a good option. He goes with the two-tube solution (Jerry's comment: mygod, you're going to look like a french horn with all those tubes).<br /><br /> However, he stressed that this is risky on several counts. First of all, getting into the stomach and siting and securing the tube is going to be difficult. Second, there are multiple chances of infection, slippage, and other things going wrong. And finally, I'm in nowhere as healthy a state as I've been before for previous procedures. However, he seemed optimistic, and he's done this multiple times before. I got the feeling he was looking forward to it.<br /><br />I'm not, exactly, though the options are rather limited. If we do nothing, basically I continue to starve. Between not being able to eat much and throwing most of it up, I'm down to 111. My happy weight was about 125. Dehydration is also a potential problem.<br /><br />Because they have to acquire some new equipment they weren't able to schedule the surgery until Monday the 2nd, almost exactly two years since the unsuccessful Whipple, but if the equipment comes in earlier and there's an operating room free they've promised that they'll fit me in sooner.<br /><br />How do I feel about all this? I have faith in the doctor and the backup team. I certainly don't want to keep on hurling every day. And Jerry and I agree: what we want is the best quality of life for as long as possible. As long as there's a chance for this, we want to take it.Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-89340623852889156852010-07-21T09:25:00.002-04:002010-07-21T09:48:45.775-04:00Heading into the next stageThe beginning of this week has been crowded with doctors' appointments. First, on Monday we met with the oncologist and all agreed that the FOLFOX hasn't helped, and has, in fact, left me worse off. To my immense relief I'm no longer on the FOLFOX or any chemo. We discussed Clinical Trials (as far as I can find out, I'm not eligible for any) and further types of chemo. Dr. Nickerson is against them, partly because they're a third line of defense and likely to be more debilitating and less helpful than what we've done, and partly because much of what's dragging me down now is the blockage between upper and lower GI tract, which wouldn't be helped by a new chemo.<br /><br />Because of this, we decided it was time for us to call in Hospice. It's a funny feeling. It means that you can no longer hang onto the tiny bit of denial that says, "It's been great so far. Why can't it continue indefinitely?" Indefinitely becomes bounded, though of course it always was.<br /><br />The Hospice nurse came in yesterday and turned out to be both warm and efficient. We don't need and may never need the full range of services they offer, everything from getting me a hospital bed if and when I need one to Reiki. I'm going for the massages, I think. <br />It actually feels good to have this in place, like having a guide and well-set-up catering service when you're going on a tour to an unknown place.<br /><br />The other problem we talked about with Dr. Nickerson was the intestinal blockage and its effects, which are fairly constant nausea, daily vomiting, and regular constipation (if constipation can ever be regular). He recommended a tube into my stomach to drain off what doesn't get through to the intestines, and set us up to see the surgeon, who agreed.<br /><br />But yesterday we saw the GI doctor who said that he didn't recommend this, that various mechanical problems would make it risky for infection. What he thought should be done is a two-tube solution, with one going into the stomach to drain it, and another going into the intestine below the blockage as a feeding tube. The three doctors (oncologist, surgeon, gastroenterologist) will get together some time in the next few days to decide what's best. <br /><br />What they won't give me is any kind of formula that balances quality and quantity of time. I find myself looking at their body language and where their eyes go for some kind of hint. Meanwhile we wait.<br /><br />I wish I weren't writing this. I've read several blogs where people with cancer get to this point and decide to stop blogging. I want to continue as long as I can, though I certainly wouldn't blame anyone who stopped reading because it's not likely to be as upbeat as it's been. But I'm curious. I want to record what this last stage is like and share it with anyone who has ever wondered....Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-64300866231003799162010-07-16T17:16:00.002-04:002010-07-16T17:19:50.240-04:00Onions, continuedMy multi-talented and warm and thoughtful friend Lin sent this haiku:<br /><br />Beneath onion layers -<br />a lovely light shining through.<br />The beauty of you.<br /><br />And my equally wonderful friend Nancy suggested ways for me to expand the onion metaphor -- is each layer the same color and consistency as the one before it? Do I react to each absence in the same way? And what if the metaphor is wrong, and there is something at the center, after all?Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-84891234940125572012010-07-13T09:09:00.004-04:002010-07-13T09:35:33.433-04:00Bumps in the pathAs you've no doubt gathered, for the past couple of weeks I haven't been at my best. I had to miss a session of chemo, and this time when I went in I brought several new and continuing symptoms. My blood counts were good enough for me to have the treatment, so while I was in getting the chemo they set up a CAT scan for me, also yesterday. It made for a long day, but it was good to get it done. Dr. Nickerson called later to say that the protrusion on my abdomen was probably not due to fluid build-up, the new tumor, or the hernia, but was localized in the stomach. Apparently nothing is getting through. He's setting up an appointment with a surgeon to see if they can put an NG tube down my throat to relieve the stomach, or possibly some sort of permanent opening into the stomach to relieve it as necessary. I'll keep you posted. <br />Came home and threw up five times last night, which when you consider that I was on two different kinds of anti-nausea meds must be some kind of record.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJNEqWXTfKLkKDgbPpWPsUflJGEtVtOqqhQ-_2FyNcD7nRKdQrMF0aun4ULwDVIzF2YfTMolMEoF41QIDVoT5edzXpVi8oqKSLQosq32dK3J86dGGIuq_NW6xJmWj1xUQ4KgNA_IAp5tg/s1600/onion.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 126px; height: 84px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJNEqWXTfKLkKDgbPpWPsUflJGEtVtOqqhQ-_2FyNcD7nRKdQrMF0aun4ULwDVIzF2YfTMolMEoF41QIDVoT5edzXpVi8oqKSLQosq32dK3J86dGGIuq_NW6xJmWj1xUQ4KgNA_IAp5tg/s320/onion.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5493379534820162594" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Meanwhile, I feel these days as though the characteristics that make up my personality, my self, are being stripped away as you'd peel an onion. Each layer that goes is a basic, though maybe not crucial, part of me.<br /><br />There are the little things: coffee, red wine, chocolate. When I lost coffee, I lost a focus for thinking, and a special link to sociability. Red wine gave me those as well. For years Jerry and I have had a tradition of a piece of dark chocolate and some more wine at the end of dinner. That tradition is gone.<br />Each of these small tastes opened me up to years of memories which seem faded now.<br /><br />I don't enjoy food. I don't want to cook, don't like the smell of food cooking, don't want to eat what's on my plate, feel immediately bloated. Is this what teenaged girls feel when they have anorexia? <br /><br />I have lost hatha yoga. There are too many poses I cannot reach or hold. I have lost pranayama -- whatever is pressing on my abdomen makes deep breaths painful. Yes, I can still meditate, but the fatigue tends to take over and I fall asleep.<br /><br />The latest to go, I think, is playing the trombone. Not only do fatigue and deep breaths get in the way, but the pressure on the abdomen makes me throw up. We played a concert down the hill here in Marlborough last week, and mid-way through I barely made it to the restroom. <br /><br />I feel as though along with these tastes and activities, I am losing my zest and my appetites for all of the things I used to love. I don't even read as much as I used to. I feel as though I'm becoming ... boring.Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-46912252527293418112010-07-07T14:15:00.002-04:002010-07-07T14:21:20.608-04:00I was supposed to have chemo today....<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN_dzs1fcJvnIxNq5nZkFoJ2GKj70IPxdHlWEFJ_aTFKnzDnWldCAXBInBqWrbY8UDHeaEGTr53rSRYy2qyBhRmNr_LvUbTc3RyW66CAQ2KOuu8qpt0D9tIwGMwSecVZmDKknvoQobBls/s1600/images.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 143px; height: 107px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN_dzs1fcJvnIxNq5nZkFoJ2GKj70IPxdHlWEFJ_aTFKnzDnWldCAXBInBqWrbY8UDHeaEGTr53rSRYy2qyBhRmNr_LvUbTc3RyW66CAQ2KOuu8qpt0D9tIwGMwSecVZmDKknvoQobBls/s400/images.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5491229665720692386" border="0" /></a>My white blood counts turned out to be too low, so they rescheduled the chemo for next week. This isn't unusual, by the way, just a bit of a surprise.<br /><br />I wasn't especially looking forward to the chemo. I may have mentioned that FOLFOX is not my favorite form of chemo. I'm not sure how much of the nausea and vomiting are due to it, but this will be a good chance to see if a bit more time helps. (Also a brand-new anti-nausea med, the fifth so far. It's supposed to be really good.)<br /><br />So I feel like a kid who just found out that we have a snow day. The picture is also for all my friends on the East Coast who are dealing with yet another day in the high nineties. Don't worry: we'll all be complaining about the cold before you know it.Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-66895376997092571072010-07-05T09:13:00.002-04:002010-07-05T09:23:00.147-04:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3jEh3lL85mNRrTp62fXmsxPID5BHr-qyJ5tWbAmRKNrkfg8ijNKDfPLdoreD0S7KZQTIA_h-6Zlr4dw1WqItepn-CpNXfR8kYWHflq5VOd02domBEcHjN2VnBCbgI057h1xKqmqAdlk8/s1600/lucie+and+katie.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3jEh3lL85mNRrTp62fXmsxPID5BHr-qyJ5tWbAmRKNrkfg8ijNKDfPLdoreD0S7KZQTIA_h-6Zlr4dw1WqItepn-CpNXfR8kYWHflq5VOd02domBEcHjN2VnBCbgI057h1xKqmqAdlk8/s320/lucie+and+katie.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490409833150556514" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXKl0AyZFBkZzJeCOjjW2r-WmPbg-eZHZzRty-4dqTMs6ne-yokl1srIqhU4kONZmV5baYpatzZvhjrWqu9soCnqEZcs5lvK7Xx_O_utzCe9KsgorjTw_wITCsx-vnbAm1oR1iSG09AsY/s1600/band+4th.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXKl0AyZFBkZzJeCOjjW2r-WmPbg-eZHZzRty-4dqTMs6ne-yokl1srIqhU4kONZmV5baYpatzZvhjrWqu9soCnqEZcs5lvK7Xx_O_utzCe9KsgorjTw_wITCsx-vnbAm1oR1iSG09AsY/s320/band+4th.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490409829070498338" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEDN5gAwV0XVjdg5CeHumpSYOrHJlj1Og_oeT9Yzjs6CtiaTUa79Oq9RSCViOAKqjYAg9sOYOZCYLQGjLOhqKPR74lzS7vImzHLuQrvQvlXUzRIdccJ1IUHJc6AGCXxoWcoXvfd7Od2Zo/s1600/grandma+and+miles.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEDN5gAwV0XVjdg5CeHumpSYOrHJlj1Og_oeT9Yzjs6CtiaTUa79Oq9RSCViOAKqjYAg9sOYOZCYLQGjLOhqKPR74lzS7vImzHLuQrvQvlXUzRIdccJ1IUHJc6AGCXxoWcoXvfd7Od2Zo/s320/grandma+and+miles.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5490409823706156738" border="0" /></a><br />We played at Historic Deerfield as usual for the 4th, one of the band's favorite concerts, though I enjoyed it more when we used to play outdoors. Now we're always in the hall, which does make rainy concerts easier, I admit, and the acoustics aren't bad. Yesterday was beautiful, and Max, Anya, Miles, Jerry and I had a picnic after the concert -- many thanks to Anya for the great spread. <br />The last picture is one of my favorites. Max posed us, and Miles insisted that we both have "sleepy faces" for it.Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-80160203069995500332010-06-29T12:57:00.003-04:002010-06-29T13:02:24.253-04:00Because you can't be gloomy 24/7Despite the many stresses in his life, Jerry managed to continue working with his usual meticulous craftsmanship.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh32JDukZ2Qk3xw5409az3GQQlQf2mgNvT4A7QTLGOWatLqx1NJaHKXxlfc85IX_2H7uC7tDnRcIY9UVr4kuw8IDWQWIXILkNDxILrdW9CDliMpLA64FNgTYneey60WTTgeeBj3VUcu0U/s1600/003.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh32JDukZ2Qk3xw5409az3GQQlQf2mgNvT4A7QTLGOWatLqx1NJaHKXxlfc85IX_2H7uC7tDnRcIY9UVr4kuw8IDWQWIXILkNDxILrdW9CDliMpLA64FNgTYneey60WTTgeeBj3VUcu0U/s400/003.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5488241207383374642" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />Orchidaceous -- I promised her I wouldn't post this picture to the blog. So I lied.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikUXxyQftMCBqocwxSoA4ASs7PgQPe4pNH9rzSaKBa6BpKEMYhJodsbiS7MvUcy8fUXBAnYPUB0x3d5NTJsdkkPvTNKB72M0L4dYw467uDW1s-7xNLpquCj-_ZFJxC7GQbWPCjJUPXL4o/s1600/orchidaceous.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikUXxyQftMCBqocwxSoA4ASs7PgQPe4pNH9rzSaKBa6BpKEMYhJodsbiS7MvUcy8fUXBAnYPUB0x3d5NTJsdkkPvTNKB72M0L4dYw467uDW1s-7xNLpquCj-_ZFJxC7GQbWPCjJUPXL4o/s400/orchidaceous.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5488241213058128866" border="0" /></a>Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-37709757650760889402010-06-28T14:00:00.002-04:002010-06-28T14:05:56.111-04:00Quick updateBlood counts are lower, CA19-9 is higher -- up to 589. Not great, but the doctor says it's still too soon to tell if the FOLFOX is working. One more round of the chemo and we'll have a better idea.<br />I'm feeling a bit low these days, and not just because food either doesn't go down or doesn't stay down. People have said all along that I have a great attitude, but not right at the moment. Oh, well. This, too, shall pass.Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-45994284938349084702010-06-25T08:55:00.002-04:002010-06-25T09:03:03.647-04:00House projects<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdHe5y3egBpCI965xJfeX4-bm7Db_xQlw9aNH-l2P6QC7iWjoU-xGpSFrk7g9wN3oirRE6VoAprEOWz7_DT82C7oAEPs3gQflng_W-3OMAEGq8r1aIS7xq3cWmg39nSd4HqeguAwWs1Fk/s1600/001.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdHe5y3egBpCI965xJfeX4-bm7Db_xQlw9aNH-l2P6QC7iWjoU-xGpSFrk7g9wN3oirRE6VoAprEOWz7_DT82C7oAEPs3gQflng_W-3OMAEGq8r1aIS7xq3cWmg39nSd4HqeguAwWs1Fk/s320/001.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486694359379072050" border="0" /></a><br />I haven't been exactly full of energy the past few days, so it's good that someone around here keeps busy. Shown in progress, but now finished, is the new red accent wall (next to Jerry's knee you can see the sage green it used to be). Quite a project, since it involved taking all the books out of the shelves, and somehow evolved into sorting them. I got rid of three boxes of anthro books that I haven't looked at in 25 years. Anyone want them? (Except I think that after they languished on Freecycle for a bit we took them to the dump.)<br />Anya was amused at the red wall because Jerry had objected so strenuously to her and Max painting one of the rooms in their previous house red. Jerry says it just goes to show about old dogs and new tricks.<br />Jerry has also replaced two bedroom windows this week. He's beginning to run out of projects. Maybe a moat or a turret?Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-74786839806858963402010-06-22T09:30:00.003-04:002010-06-22T09:39:54.205-04:00Yesterday's meeting with the oncologistI've been having more nausea than before, and in fact, have gone back to scattering large-sized Stonyfield Yogurt containers around the house in case of need. (Lots better than those liver-colored, kidney-shaped bowls they give you in the hospital.) Also, lots of fatigue and weakness, so the big question for Dr. Nickerson was whether these symptoms were due to the change in chemo, the progression of the disease, or something else entirely (leprosy? schistosomaisis?)<br />His feeling was that after only two rounds of the FOLFOX he couldn't tell for sure, but that because I get the symptoms after the meds should be about out of my system it's probably the course of the disease. Not the answer we were hoping for.<br />In any case, we decided to keep me on the FOLFOX for another round or two and see how I respond. Best case would be that the tumor markers go down, that I feel better and stop throwing up, and that I'm not so tired. So keep your fingers crossed for that, and I'll keep you updated. Meanwhile, I'm going to go take a nap.Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-32341846856291995272010-06-20T10:12:00.001-04:002010-06-20T10:17:21.566-04:00Peaceful getaway<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMjsIUJIR_O2GnqskU7fe1tYtZMMsROmi-wUav0i5lJfmPWrBlgnXuKFpOvcTigl5O8vgSjtHcL8hSNS3CGQtXw7RZuR9trru6HpdvEE9Y5Kv_fiABZcgaTuplKAM2sivnvMJRWZ1dPmo/s1600/004.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 192px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMjsIUJIR_O2GnqskU7fe1tYtZMMsROmi-wUav0i5lJfmPWrBlgnXuKFpOvcTigl5O8vgSjtHcL8hSNS3CGQtXw7RZuR9trru6HpdvEE9Y5Kv_fiABZcgaTuplKAM2sivnvMJRWZ1dPmo/s320/004.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5484858640376503602" border="0" /></a><br />This is the view of the herb garden and property at Abbott's Glen <a href="www.abbottsglen.com/">http://www.abbottsglen.com/</a><br />a wonderful, peaceful getaway with a pond, sauna, interesting guests, delicious dinners, and (this weekend) beautiful weather). It was a good respite.<br /><br />Except that I'm having a lot of trouble with nausea and fatigue these days, so mostly Jerry dipped in the pond while I slept. We see Dr. Nickerson tomorrow and have a lot of questions for him. I'll let you know the results afterward.Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-22140054516658391392010-06-16T08:52:00.005-04:002010-06-16T09:14:14.881-04:00Incredible unbelievable weekend<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguYxOk1btCD3vmaG3GZ32kkD-qa8uSwq-nOkLU1EHLpzFnVTl3t-ta8ewQ432knJo1nEsSff3FW6FfbEsFTq67vb1EG2Ma4nHcUHWGrhEapS1LLgUPIMgydWx0vqILs23w038_bijA5rM/s1600/cinda+and+miles.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguYxOk1btCD3vmaG3GZ32kkD-qa8uSwq-nOkLU1EHLpzFnVTl3t-ta8ewQ432knJo1nEsSff3FW6FfbEsFTq67vb1EG2Ma4nHcUHWGrhEapS1LLgUPIMgydWx0vqILs23w038_bijA5rM/s320/cinda+and+miles.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5483354729180862866" border="0" /></a>We drove down to Florence on Friday night, I <span style="font-style: italic;">t</span><span style="font-style: italic;">hought </span>to celebrate Max and Anya's birthdays. When we got there, Anya said that Miles had something to show me -- it turned out to be Cinda !!!!! who had sneaked in from Seattle for the weekend. I was totally surprised and delighted.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe9WsZus2qAf1ve30py0Mgin4z-xBVvc0c9OCgB8ER_m12dN1yOu8NbLMvk8EfzIRriTixdeAnf2dwg9sXMu_HgseQJUS_g3jR7-zQ7ru895LUifIQhyphenhyphenu46EXQj0Mt9gVW0HCy9fI8xvE/s1600/Cinda,+Anya.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe9WsZus2qAf1ve30py0Mgin4z-xBVvc0c9OCgB8ER_m12dN1yOu8NbLMvk8EfzIRriTixdeAnf2dwg9sXMu_HgseQJUS_g3jR7-zQ7ru895LUifIQhyphenhyphenu46EXQj0Mt9gVW0HCy9fI8xvE/s400/Cinda,+Anya.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5483354495417822466" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRAma_K4hqVL8tLEGcQTLLOrDMCZsLTc9yKoKFbu5yzVODIjtkMpkvERP6iHVjKyuOTtOqF_2Sxan1-4guykVndg3wxORnteZJDqlkuhIJg5MmP_N_UacTQ-HFVY4URl5tm1X5jN_UTXg/s1600/snuggling.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRAma_K4hqVL8tLEGcQTLLOrDMCZsLTc9yKoKFbu5yzVODIjtkMpkvERP6iHVjKyuOTtOqF_2Sxan1-4guykVndg3wxORnteZJDqlkuhIJg5MmP_N_UacTQ-HFVY4URl5tm1X5jN_UTXg/s320/snuggling.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5483355911588174866" border="0" /></a>We stayed overnight there, had a wonderful, lazy, relaxed morning. (You can't see Miles snuggling under the duvet, but he was there.)<br /><br />Then, after a trip to the local yarn store, which is knitters' heaven, Cinda came back to Marlborough to spend Sunday and part of Monday. Max, Anya, Miles, and Stella (to the left, below) came up for lunch Sunday.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGT0VuOANyvVmflqtqFTjWLD2k7eRs1Zsb6VSwMYjly5-mFHwQVCCehdo1uJRVodWQrjPyYdTiYs_WxmYAqQQlFiefW1IUQOFdzG0RAHA4TuQsQ5CNtNchTFukYmpo4rWrfBZDfdCyUss/s1600/Stella,+Max,+Miles.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGT0VuOANyvVmflqtqFTjWLD2k7eRs1Zsb6VSwMYjly5-mFHwQVCCehdo1uJRVodWQrjPyYdTiYs_WxmYAqQQlFiefW1IUQOFdzG0RAHA4TuQsQ5CNtNchTFukYmpo4rWrfBZDfdCyUss/s400/Stella,+Max,+Miles.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5483354485778709218" border="0" /></a><br />Jerry grilled us swordfish; Cinda grilled us asparagus. (Recipes available on request.)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPg72ONIFieXvkDEM_1xU4PBn9zvUOeNpBfAkOf_bMoajd8Ie9Uab-u0OpWu7BbonA7A6wYlFg10B04Z7ZWXAoMDoXt_4epl2vZ2UcP9glaUr3j_VXbVFWqTRWGww2G2ESqsjI3ViHB6U/s1600/Grilling.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPg72ONIFieXvkDEM_1xU4PBn9zvUOeNpBfAkOf_bMoajd8Ie9Uab-u0OpWu7BbonA7A6wYlFg10B04Z7ZWXAoMDoXt_4epl2vZ2UcP9glaUr3j_VXbVFWqTRWGww2G2ESqsjI3ViHB6U/s400/Grilling.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5483354476308172802" border="0" /></a>But the weekend continued. Monday my brother Luther and sister-in-law Miriam came up for the day, luckily overlapping Cinda, so they got to see each other. Cinda left to go back to Seattle just after they headed home.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdIGWk0YHRvcfwa3CcG-AVvxe_Ogl2Iz6fe-5mIzC3vIn0AAFiD15pnrc_CO-orVmDymTdYFS_yAAdlGkRtZ_kGF1Ys2wDPR3M_KE_X2-Yvym5vSi1n3AXSVms2XB3EWt0WWGHwR0iO6s/s1600/Luther,+Miriam,+Cinda.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdIGWk0YHRvcfwa3CcG-AVvxe_Ogl2Iz6fe-5mIzC3vIn0AAFiD15pnrc_CO-orVmDymTdYFS_yAAdlGkRtZ_kGF1Ys2wDPR3M_KE_X2-Yvym5vSi1n3AXSVms2XB3EWt0WWGHwR0iO6s/s400/Luther,+Miriam,+Cinda.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5483354474844715394" border="0" /></a>And to top it all off on Tuesday a college roommate I hadn't seen in 45 years but re-connected with on Facebook (yay, Facebook) and her husband, on a trip to the US from Greece, came up to see us. It was funny to see how memories came floating back as we talked --nothing profound, mostly names and faces, a few anecdotes. It was an interesting experience.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSMca3c2IhgWkE1PvdnXA75KqqmZaCOV6KtrnNi70XVFC_0AOGBlMVvkDjqu3TbOVg_PhcYFeBIwO13y-ledV1PetSkcAIvBK7QcPtg3tYUJx32mYrCxI06Cku54PJyeMQJYbeOXy__d0/s1600/Myrto,+Don.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSMca3c2IhgWkE1PvdnXA75KqqmZaCOV6KtrnNi70XVFC_0AOGBlMVvkDjqu3TbOVg_PhcYFeBIwO13y-ledV1PetSkcAIvBK7QcPtg3tYUJx32mYrCxI06Cku54PJyeMQJYbeOXy__d0/s400/Myrto,+Don.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5483354463634810882" border="0" /></a><br />And then I zonked out, and have just slept a total of eleven hours. But what a glorious weekend!Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-68503771810145760082010-06-11T09:01:00.005-04:002010-06-11T09:16:58.375-04:00More cheers for curcuminTwo friends have recently gotten in touch with me because relatives are just starting treatment for pancreatic cancer. I was happy to pass on my best thoughts for dealing with the Beast and the chemo, but I suddenly remembered that I forgot to talk again about <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">curcumin</span>.<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Curcumin</span> comes from turmeric and has been used in South Asia for generations as a panacea, but recent research suggests that it may be especially useful to boost the power of chemotherapy drugs. This is real research at, for example, MD Anderson Cancer Center in Texas. So far, the research hasn't gone too far -- it must be hard to get funding to study something that millions of people eat every day -- but at the very least, it shows that curcumin seems to be harmless. I've been taking it along with the chemotherapy for two years now, and so far it seems to be working! (But <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">anectodal</span> evidence is not worth much, as we all know.)<br /><br />For the fine (upbeat, enjoyable, authoritative) blog that started me on curcumin, I recommend that you check out Margaret's Corner (living with myeloma) <a href="http://margaret.healthblogs.org/">http://margaret.healthblogs.org/ </a>and also Curcumin: the Indian Solid Gold <a href="http://www.curcuminresearch.org/">http://www.curcuminresearch.org/</a> . There are contraindications, but in general it is worth looking into.Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-88547206253548188792010-06-08T10:56:00.004-04:002010-06-08T16:19:53.825-04:00Another day of full-body macrame<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLOyN2PLp91NesmoyIX22IjWldTYJdhGDfnmsnMT53IVHoiZRy7JoEMMzTkUdYd6545v4j_Zg0VQEUk2nPvSF6AFxah-9VTZ79HyLARfh0J6_jxq_Aq5wwyt_C3r28yrLd27JsfPBsno4/s1600/003.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLOyN2PLp91NesmoyIX22IjWldTYJdhGDfnmsnMT53IVHoiZRy7JoEMMzTkUdYd6545v4j_Zg0VQEUk2nPvSF6AFxah-9VTZ79HyLARfh0J6_jxq_Aq5wwyt_C3r28yrLd27JsfPBsno4/s320/003.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480417128554637282" border="0" /></a><br />This is Jerry, trying to sort the two chemo tubes plus the wires for my non-battery laptop. Things got even more confusing after he'd left, when I had to go to the bathroom and deal with those plus the two wires attaching the IV pole to the wall. I spent more time untangling than I did peeing.<br /><br />But (yay!) the new anti-nausea med seems to have worked much better than the old one did, and I feel good today. It also helped that I think I've at least partly solved the sore shoulders problem by sleeping on two pillows, one the temper-pedic and the top one nice and fluffy so I don't feel as though I'm on a sandbag.<br /><br />The one new and interesting side effect is the feeling I get when any part of my body touches something cold, and I mean less than room temp. I've always had a minor form of synesthesia, a condition where people hear music as color or taste foods as sound. Mine is to experience pain as color + shape and texture, so that a toothache, for example, is always a purplish-red neon tube. Well, now when I touch something cold, I perceive something like the male side of a velcro strip, in silver. It also hurts, and I've had to put winter gloves next to the refrigerator so that I can take the milk out without flashes of silver. It's more annoying (and very interesting) than really painful, but I'm afraid that I won't get many swims in Stone Pond this summer. I usually don't make it in until August, anyway.Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5537373742965066903.post-2149745448538681212010-06-07T08:35:00.003-04:002010-06-07T08:48:56.069-04:00The Last LectureI finally read Randy Pausch's <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Last Lecture</span> yesterday. I didn't want to read it while I was working on the major part of my own book, but now that I'm within spitting distance of finishing mine I figured I should read his, partly to be able to mention it in my query letter (why we don't compete), and partly, of course, from interest. He and Patrick Swayze (also with a book out, but it's out of the library this week) were the closest the pancreatic cancer community had to poster kids. Both Pausch and Swayze died, and after a flurry of interest, pancreatic cancer retreated from public consciousness. Unfortunately, what we need is either a continuing stream of poster kids or at least one person to last long enough to keep the disease in the public eye. I'm working on the latter.<br /><br />(Big sigh of relief.) We don't compete. Pausch barely mentions the nuts and bolts of his disease and treatment, except for the obligatory how-I-found-out-and-reacted chapter. I have one of those, too, as does anyone who's had the house fall in on them. His book generally, however, is much more "what I've learned in my life and want to pass on" than "how I'm dealing with and living with this impossible situation." Yes, it is funny and inspirational, and I cried as I read his anguish that he would not live to see his children grow up -- but mostly I felt relief that it was not my book.<br /><br />By the way, thanks to everyone who answered and who sent emails with suggestions for dealing with nausea. Smoothies, snacks at frequent intervals instead of real meals, and that brown rice pudding all sound like good ideas, and I'm trying them all!Luciehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04572391473668623676noreply@blogger.com3