The changing face of Christmas

First of all, it was a wonderful Christmas, including all of the warmth, joy and love I could ask for. (The food was a lot better than last year's hospital meal, too.)

It's interesting, though, how traditions have changed over the years, and our "Christmas tree" symbolizes some of the changes. We didn't want a full-sized tree and don't like fake ones, so we did what worked for us. More and more what works is becoming something less than the traditional while trying to reflect the traditional, and not just for Jerry and me.

For one thing, I don't think I know anyone whose family all got together at the same time in the same place on Christmas Eve or Christmas day (I can't speak for Hanukkah, though I'd think that seven days would give more leeway). What do you do if you have at least three sets of grandparents and a couple of ex spouses or partners, some of whom don't get along with each other, to see on The Day? You need a spreadsheet to figure out the logistics. Usually what happens is that The Day stretches out to two or three, or maybe a full week that crashes into the New Year's Eve celebrations. By the time everyone has celebrated with, eaten with and given gifts to everyone else, they are all exhausted, cranky and ready to avoid the whole family for at least six months.

What's the solution? I have friends who have made themselves miserable this season because "it isn't like it used to be." I wonder if it ever was, but I'm no expert. When I was growing up in Catholic and Muslim countries, my family's Christmas was never what the magazines and movies showed, so I never expected it to be or assumed that back in the States whole intact families were all going to the midnight services and then drinking eggnog together. Maybe they did -- but does that mean they always have to?

An orange tree makes a great Christmas tree. Celebrating with family on a day that doesn't happen to be December 25th is wonderful. Getting rid of stressful traditions and building new ones keeps the holiday meaningful.