Ten things I hate about having cancer -- besides the cancer

1. While my hair grew back after the last kind of chemo, it isn't even. I have bald patches in the oddest places.
2. Chemobrain. Words that I know perfectly well disappear when I need them. (On the other hand, I have a permanent excuse for Jerry's constant wins at Scrabble.)
3. Exhaustion that hits me unexpectedly when I was feeling fine a moment before. I don't know if it's more like being hit by a sandbag, or being a sandbag that someone just ripped a hole in.
4. The scar on my belly that's constantly there to remind me. It doesn't bisect me evenly, either.
5. Feeling awkward when casual conversations turn to the distant future.... like a year from now.
6. Three o'clock in the morning. By definition, any time I'm conscious at three a.m. is a bad time.
7. Movies and books where a character gets cancer. You know they'll be gone within a few minutes.
8. Seeing teenagers or people on oxygen smoking, especially just after I've sat in the infusion room next to someone with lung cancer.
9. Getting a cough and immediately thinking it's a metastesis (instead of allergies or swine flu).
10. Feeling like a real whiner if I write about the ten things I hate about having cancer -- besides the cancer.