We met with the surgeon this morning, and basically what he said was that the CAT scan can't tell him everything, but that the tumor has shrunk enough that he feels it is worth going ahead with the surgery.
Unfortunately, one of the things the CAT scan can't tell is whether the major blood vessels have tumor or scar tissue around them, and he won't know that until he gets in. If it's tumor he closes me back up and we're back to Option B or C, probably C. If it's scar tissue, that's the best possible outcome. But all of the things that have been in my favor all along -- general state of health, tolerating the treatments so far this well, my (relatively) young age -- are still in my favor. He even said the word "cure" once.
He said that there's a window of opportunity for the surgery. Too soon after radiation, and the swelling etc. from the radiation can make it difficult. Too late and the radiated tissue gets fibrous and hard to work with. August 1st is right in the middle of the window. He got out his datebook and wrote me in. Because the surgery takes about 7 hours, that's all he's going to do that day. I'll be in the hospital for 7-10 days and go home with a couple of tubes coming out of my guts, one of them for feeding me through if necessary. (This was the point at which Jerry turned green.)
So how do I feel? I think the tiny part of me that still believes in the tooth fairy hoped that he'd say, "Cancer? Whatever made you think you had cancer? You're fine, and you certainly don't need surgery." But then, there was the 3:00 am part of me that couldn't have imagined this good news.
It's like coming up after trying to swim the whole length of the pool underwater and taking that deep, almost painful breath. Sudden new possibilities open up.
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5 comments:
Lucie, I would say that that is good news. All of us out here have been waiting for the news. Lonna just called me and told me it was posted. So we are hoping that the doctor will be able to do the complete surgery. A lot of us are praying and fasting for you. So hang in there Lucie, we love you!
I thought about you a lot in the night Lucie. It sounds encouraging to have a date for surgery, I don't blame Jerry for turning green with the thought of the tubes etc! What can we do to help? Will you need to have blood on hand? YOU are an amazing woman Lucie. We are ready and waiting to help in any way we can. You and Jerry are in our prayers. WE love you two!
It is very good news that you are going to have surgery soon. That's what happens to the people who recover. You want to be in that select "in crowd". Don't worry about the details or the length of the surgery. Your doctor knows best how to handle these things. Just think positive thoughts and we'll all do the same.
To me it all sounds good too (this, coming from a rock doctor). Just think of all the knitting you can do in 7-10 days stuck in a hospital! As I read the part about the surgeon only doing your surgery that day, I felt sorry for the person, thinking their golf date is out of the question. Poor Dear.
Aug 1. Now it seems a long time to wait, but I'm sure the time will fly. Hugs and I hope you're feeling well in every respect.
Yippee! You've turned a big corner here, chickie. I know it must be frustrating when the answer is not straightforward, but, hey, we are complicated beings. Whirled peas and pixie dust, must not let up until Aug 1. Hang in there, and consider having a cold beer on one of these hot hot days. L
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