Friday, June 6, 2008

Attitude

First of all, some background reading: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/01/health/01stoical.html?_r=2&pagewanted=1&oref=slogin , and thanks, Lin for the source.

Don't get me wrong, I love being told I have a good attitude, and I also love the idea that having a good attitude can somehow help me deal with this. I also have to admit that most of the time it's pretty easy to have one. I've listed before all of the kinds of support that I have, from access to good medical care all the way down to people I see on the street who give me a thumbs up. Certainly all of you who care enough to read this. It would seem like letting the side down to complain.

It also helps that most of the time I feel physically well.

On the other hand, there are days when I feel physically or emotionally like crap. This isn't one of them; when it all feels like too much, I can't write. Instead, I do my usual thing of hiding in a book that I've read many times before. Then I pull myself out enough to do some mindless knitting, and after a while I'm back to whatever normal is these days. Or if it's mostly physical, I lie on the couch with a cat on my stomach, which is definitely therapeutic.

Something I liked in the article was the point about the metaphors we use. I've never thought of myself as in a war or even fighting. The war metaphor always reminds me of when we were trying for me to get pregnant with Cinda, and Dr. Stobie explained, "You know how it is. In a battle, not every bullet kills someone." I got another OB/GYN.

The words Jerry and I use most are "dealing with it." I like that. You can deal with a clogged sink, a flat tire, the upset parent of a student. It's an annoyance that you can ... well, deal with, presumably successfully and without added trauma. And then go on.

3 comments:

Ev said...

Piffle on the article.

I can keep up a great front as long as I have business associates to talk to or clients to attend to. It gets real when I come home and my husband is still deployed and it is just me and the cat.

Allow yourself to acknowledge what you are going through. Regardless of others' journeys, this is your own. There will be joy, sadness, anguish, grief even. Allow it, and move on. Healthier than burying it under a facade and crumbling later.

Sending helpful vibes your way, Ev from KR

Arctic-mermaid said...

Yes, to me it also seems that you have to be honest with yourself and thus honest with those around you. If you don't feel like a "thumbs up" then why do it? Or maybe the "thumbs up" will be because you just saw a lovely rainbow. (and not necessarily how you are coping)
Whatever way you move through each day is up to you. Do what comes naturally and hopefully that mechanism is our spirit's way of healing.
So choose whichever finger you want to display!

amy germer said...

I agree with the cat on your tummy. Why does that do such much for us? I recently took a class on how to be happy. I found out that 50% is genetic, 40% intentional behavior and 10% circumstances. you do seem to have more that 40% intentional behavior or maybe you have good genes!