The CAT scan

A CAT scan is also called a CT scan, but CAT scan sounds friendlier, and I'm always in favor of whatever can possibly be interpreted as warm and fuzzy. CAT scan technology uses special x-ray equipment to produce multiple images or pictures of the inside of the body. According to my doctor, “CT imaging provides excellent anatomic information.”
I had to fast for several hours before it, which meant that I could have breakfast at least.When I'd been checked in at the hospital I was given The Drink. The label states optimistically that it tastes like a berry smoothie: that is a foul lie describing a foul drink. One of the web sites on CAT scans says “If the contrast material is swallowed, you may find the taste mildly unpleasant; however, most patients can easily tolerate it.” Easily, but with lots of complaints.
The only thing that can be said in its favor is that it makes putting the IV in seem like a pleasant interlude. They couldn't find my veins, so, tastefully attired in two johnnies (one front, one back) I traipsed through the hospital to the oncology department where they accessed my port (stuck a needle in it). Then back to radiology, where a dye was injected that gave me first a metallic taste in the back of my throat and then the slightly embarrassing feeling of warmth around the pelvis, as though I were back in kindergarten and peeing my pants. And then what was becoming familiar: I was fed into a machine, told when to breathe and when to hold my breath, and eventually was released to spend the rest of the day burping up fake berry smoothie.
We'll get the results next Wednesday, along with my latest CA19-9. Meanwhile, we're off to Minnesota.