Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Good news, not so good news, and more waiting around

We met with the oncologist yesterday and got the results of the CAT scan and the latest CA19-9 figures. The good news is that the pancreas seems about the same and there's no sign of cancer in the liver or lower lungs -- and this is very good news. Also there doesn't seem to be any sign of cancer under my ribs, where I've been aching. The doctor isn't sure what the pain is, but I'll mention it to the GI doctor at my appointment tomorrow, and maybe he'll have an idea about it.

The not so good news is that I have a small lump in my abdomen. I knew that, actually, because I could feel it, but I didn't tell Jerry partly because I didn't want to worry him unnecessarily and partly because of magical thinking that maybe if I didn't say anything it would go away. (Magical thinking doesn't work very well.) I'm getting the lump biopsied on Thursday morning. It could be a hematoma or a cyst; apparently random metastases in the abdomen are unusual, so we're trying very hard not to jump to any conclusions.

The other not so good news is that the CA19-9 is up again, to 187 from 156 last time. Again, a reminder to myself as much as to everyone else that this is a minor rise. I just don't like the direction.

So where does this leave me emotionally? I've actually been more bothered by the rotator cuff tendonitis on a day-to-day basis lately than by the cancer. While the cancer lurks in the background, the rotator cuffs hurt. Now suddenly I have to change my focus back. I'm back on the roller coaster, and I've always hated roller coasters. Generally speaking, though, I know that I'm in the best possible hands and have the best possible support, and this helps flatten out the emotional dives. Jerry says, "Whatever happens, we'll deal with it," and I immediately feel better.

Tomorrow I might as well just plan on spending the day at the hospital:
8:30 blood draw for the biopsy
9:00 appointment with the orthopedic physician's assistant to check progress on the rotator cuffs
1:15 appointment with the GI doctor to discuss the ulcer and the pain under the ribs
2:00 physical therapy

And then on Thursday morning I have the biopsy, but don't meet with Dr. Nickerson until next Wednesday. For reasons I don't quite understand having to do with chemo messing up the necessary bloodwork for the biopsy, I didn't have a treatment yesterday, which left me feeling like a kid on a snow day. Wow! a day off.

Keep sending good thoughts, and I'll keep you posted.

4 comments:

Unknown said...

Good thoughts! Lots of good thoughts coming your way--

grandma B said...

As always you are in our thoughts and our prayers Lucie. I hope it is as beautiful in New Hampshire this morning as it is in Utah! Sun is shining, fruit trees blossoming,tulips lifting their heads to the sun and all that spring green! Renewing our spirits with beauty.
We love you!

Anonymous said...

Lucie----I have now been forced to choose "anonymous" to get on the blog. I'll bet you know who I am. Hint: I visited another fomrer cellar-dweller the other day. I hope that the lump in your abdomen is just a kind of "knot" in response to all the stuff goin' on around there! The aunt that I told you about with the lymphoma dianosed fifteen years ago--she finds lumps every year or so in various spots---so far nothing too bad. Your day tomorrow sounds gruelingly long. I will keep you in my thoughts. You are beautiful and the BEST. I love to look at you!

Katie :o) said...

Sending hugs! :o)