Losing weight

I noticed today that I've lost four pounds in the past month, which for most people under most circumstances would be cause for celebration, or at least an extra piece of cheesecake. It's no proof of self discipline, though, especially since I was on a cruise for two of those weeks, eating whatever and whenever I wanted. (And by the way, this is not to scare anyone. I'm still at what the charts say is normal weight.)

It's just one of those things that cancer can do. There are several factors, only the first of which seems to fit my situation:

• The appetite isn't the same. I've noticed that while I still get hungry and enjoy eating, I just don't ever feel starved or voracious. I ate desserts twice a day on the cruise, but almost never felt like finishing one.
• The digestive system isn't as efficient. In extreme cases, food goes right through without any nutrients actually getting into the body.
• The cancer "grabs" the nutrients before the rest of the body can get to them. This is the basis for some people with cancer going on low-protein or low-sugar diets -- a bad idea, since it's actually cheating the rest of the body from getting any value it might from the food.
• Foods may taste strange or disgusting, or cause nausea or pain. The only food that bothers me is coffee, damn it. I'd be so happy to give up liver or turnips.

Troubles with eating can cause problems in the family. Loved ones watch the person with cancer refuse food or leave food on the plate and get terribly frustrated. Yesterday someone on the Johns Hopkins pancreatic cancer forum posted something that said in part: We try to get him to eat all the time but he refuses much of the time.... I find myself getting angry at him. I know it is hard for him and I have no clue but it is just food, it will help you live! Just drink the ensure and chew the food. I dont care what it tastes like! He has to see it from our perspective also, we are watching our loved one wither away!!! I hate that I am angry with him but I am scared that we wont lose him to the disease we will lose him to a side effect.

There were over 70 answers to this post. The frustration is real, and shared. People with pancreatic cancer described how hard it is to force food down and how their caregivers almost come to seem threatening and hostile. The plate becomes a battlefield.

The suggestions of caregivers ranged from "Let them eat whatever tastes good.... Lots of little meals are better than a big plate full of food.... Have you ever known anyone on pot who didn't get the munchies?...." and most importantly, "Don't let something like this come between you. Make whatever meals are possible a time of love and joy, not a power struggle."

And that last sounds like good advice for all of us.