This week is obviously the time to take my new port out on the road and see how it performs. No chemo, but on the off-weeks they take blood samples to make sure that the white blood count is high (normal is 4.0-10.5, though I have no idea what the quantities mean). Monday I went in for that, the port did its thing. Getting the blood was a relatively simple and painless process, at the end of which the nurse said with some embarrassment that because I was changing my chemo days from Wednesday to Monday, I shouldn't have had the blood drawn on Monday, but the full week after the chemo, i.e. on Wednesday.
So today I went in again for another drawing (and on to the Y afterwards, which shows you how well I'm feeling at the moment). When I got home Jerry said that the hospital had called, and my white blood count is so low that I'm in danger of infection. I'm to wash my hands a lot, avoid people with colds, call the hospital immediately if my temperature goes up -- and go in on Friday so they can take my blood again.
So it might as well be spring -- because I know just how a maple tree feels.
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Ok here are Good Thoughts.. feel that?
And a bad joke, since there hasn't been one recently. Not too recently. You can chuck it if you want to.
I was walking down the street when I was accosted
by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless
woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked,
'If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it
instead of dinner?'
'No I had to stop drinking years ago,' the homeless
woman told me.
' Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?'
I asked.
'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said.
'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.'
'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?I asked.
'Are you NUTS !' replied the homeless woman. '
I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'
'Well,' I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money.
Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my
husband and me tonight.'
The homeless Woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband
be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I
probably smell pretty disgusting.'
I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman
looks like after she has given up shopping,
hair appointments, and wine.
Some belated Easter jokes.
Who brings Easter eggs to the Little Mermaid? The Oyster Bunny.
Do you know the Easter Bunny? He's a good egg.
Humpty Dumpty was a jolly old bloke.
He sat on a wall drinking a coke.
He sat on a wall dancing a dance
when up came a wind
and blew down his pants.
HOW THE FIGHT STARTED...
I rear-ended a car this morning.
So there we are on the side of the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car. Well, I just could not believe it . . . he was a DWARF!
He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"
So, I look down at him and say, "Well, which one are you then?"
And that's when the fight started.
Alright. This is from a cartoon style joke I recently got by email, so I am converting it into words.
A minister in the church decided to perform an experiment. The goal was to do a little teaching to the parishoners. He took four clean jars and collected four live earthworms. One worm was placed in each jar.
Into the first jar he poured alcohol. Into the second jar, he put cigarette smoke. Into the third jar, the minister placed a lot of chocolate. And into the fourth jar he put good clean earth.
He left them for a couple of days and then studied the results with his flock. The worms in with the alcohol, smoke and chocolates died. The one in the good soil was thriving.
The minister asked the congregation what the results of the study showed.
An elderly woman in the back pew piped up right away "It just shows you that if you smoke, drink and eat chocolates you won't get worms!"
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