Attitude

First of all, some background reading: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/01/health/01stoical.html?_r=2&pagewanted=1&oref=slogin , and thanks, Lin for the source.

Don't get me wrong, I love being told I have a good attitude, and I also love the idea that having a good attitude can somehow help me deal with this. I also have to admit that most of the time it's pretty easy to have one. I've listed before all of the kinds of support that I have, from access to good medical care all the way down to people I see on the street who give me a thumbs up. Certainly all of you who care enough to read this. It would seem like letting the side down to complain.

It also helps that most of the time I feel physically well.

On the other hand, there are days when I feel physically or emotionally like crap. This isn't one of them; when it all feels like too much, I can't write. Instead, I do my usual thing of hiding in a book that I've read many times before. Then I pull myself out enough to do some mindless knitting, and after a while I'm back to whatever normal is these days. Or if it's mostly physical, I lie on the couch with a cat on my stomach, which is definitely therapeutic.

Something I liked in the article was the point about the metaphors we use. I've never thought of myself as in a war or even fighting. The war metaphor always reminds me of when we were trying for me to get pregnant with Cinda, and Dr. Stobie explained, "You know how it is. In a battle, not every bullet kills someone." I got another OB/GYN.

The words Jerry and I use most are "dealing with it." I like that. You can deal with a clogged sink, a flat tire, the upset parent of a student. It's an annoyance that you can ... well, deal with, presumably successfully and without added trauma. And then go on.