Monday, December 15, 2008

Blue Nile and White Nile

In the Sudan, at Khartoum, the Blue Nile and the White Nile merge. For quite a while they flow side by side and you can clearly tell them apart. When I last flew over them, in the 60's, our pilot was apparently from Texas, because in a real Texas drawl he announced over the microphone, "Well, you can see the two Niles down on your left. You can tell them apart because the White Nile looks gray, and the Blue Nile looks just plain dirty."

Sometimes I feel like the Niles at Khartoum. On the one hand, I am healthier than I could ever have expected and feel as though there's no reason this couldn't continue indefinitely. Life is good.

On the other, and at the same time, I know that in reality it won't continue indefinitely. And then it's harder to feel that life is good.

The reason I keep thinking of the two Niles is that I can hold both of these emotions in my mind at the same time without either one diluting the other. It's not a matter of flipping back and forth; both are simply there, underlying whatever else I am doing or thinking at the same time.

When I stop to try and analyze it it's a weird feeling.

2 comments:

Arctic-mermaid said...

What an interesting analogy. And maybe like the two Niles that merge into one, the right answer to your overall health is a mixture of the two.

A-muse said...

Lucie--There is that wonderful, elusive entity--wisdom-- in the two feelings existing side by side, not diluting each other.......just there.people pay a lot of money to psychologists for what you are experiencing. Nothing is so wonderful that it can make life perfect. Nothing is so horrible that it can ruin everything. Wow. Heavy.